January 2010
46 posts
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Bring it on 2010
Kelly: What are you up to tonight? Besides making out with your slutty hand.
Me: Just family stuff. Then my hand and I will be getting it on once everyone is asleep.
Kelly: Hot.
Me: You gotta get yourself a New Year's Kiss! I'd try to get one, but since i'll be with family, it would likely be incestual.
Me: And that's not what 2010 is about.
December 2009
35 posts
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To my middle school bully
i was hitting on your younger sister some weeks ago. didn’t know who she was until i found out we went to the same high school.
i love that you made my life hell in middle school and part of high school for being gay. and now your little sister is a big homo.
God is obviously a fan of poetic justice.
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AwkRAD (sober me)
Me: [to girl] they close in 10 minutes? it's only midnight. What kind of a bar is this?
Girl: [clearly unsure as to where i appeared from and why i'm talking to her] Yeah. Well that's Seattle for you..
Me: [awkward silence] they make cool flyers though! did you see the one for the event tomorrow? It's nice.
Girl: [shifting nervously] uh yeah, its... it should be a fun night.
Me: There's going to be heated tents.
Girl: Oh yeah, yea i heard that.
Me: It said on the flyer, anyway. Informative flyers.
Girl: [looking at the emergency exit]
Me: So are you coming?
Girl: ....where?
Me: Tomorrow night. Heated tents. And such.
Girl: Uhm, maybe. Probably? I think so.
[My friend finally stops laughing at me from the corner of the room and drags me out by the arm.]
Me: Okay well i guess i'm leaving! Good meeting you!
Girl: [waves awkwardly, laughing awkwardly] yeah, you too.
heya kiddo.
imememine:
karmendcastro:
=]
i miss you :(
no sad faces..
i miss you too =\
really tho. good to see that you’re well. so, so good.
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heya kiddo.
=]
themailinglist:
If I hear “God is love” one more time…(insert brutal threat here).
Since when is love a religion?
It should be “Love is god”. That’s more appropriate.
Um, world?
vermiciousknid:
Just so we’re clear, the 00’s decade isn’t technically over for another year. We start counting decades with the number 1, so once 2011 hits, THEN we’ll be in a new decade and then we can get all nostalgic and shit. Honestly.
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Watch The Waves - Taken By Trees
Such a gorgeous...
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Top 5 Reasons You Should Date Me
Just kidding. (maybe)
These are my top 5 neuroses, in no particular order.
1) I freak out about germs/bedbugs in my bed. I can’t have anything with dirty feet/clothes/fur under my covers. I just can’t. I often vacuum my sheets and spray them with disinfectant.
2) I always put the toilet cover down before flushing. I am paranoid about poop particles. POOP PARTICLES!!
3) I have...
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